Seattle Single Life

I never heard back from Amanda and I have to say I have to say I am pretty choked up about it. I have been very depressed lately and I am not sure why. Work is very stressful as always and my boss has been talking about this promotion and says that there are 5 different people he is considering for the position and I among them. Whenever there is a new position open he always gives me this speech so that we will all work harder and try to impress him. This time around I am not going to bother to work harder than normal because I know I am not going to get it anyways. He just likes to play head games like that which is common practice at Microsoft. Luckily there is so many people working for the company that no one has picked up on my blog yet and put two and two together. I really love that tune, I really love that song is what I was thinking last night as I was listening to this great song by Big Wreck. They are a Canadian band and they are among a handful of Canadian rock bands that I like. Anyways, I have just been living day to day, sitting through endless boring meetings, eating cold meatloaf in my boxers at 8am. It's not a pretty sight lol.

Yeah so I have been hella depressed lately. I realized that none of the girls I was talking to online etc were going to go anywhere. Some of the girls I am talking to have no personality at all. They are incapable of initiating conversation and when we are both on MSN, they never say hello first, it is like I have to initiate everything which makes me feel like I am chasing someone. There is this one girl named Kelly who is really hot and she has a really hot body and I had asked her if she wanted to get together for a drink last weekend but then some buddies of mine were going to have a poker game and it sounded like good times and I was worried I was going to waste money and time taking out this dry ass jaded non talking donkey whore so I msg'd her and told her something came up and I couldn't make it and that we should do it some other time. She never even replied, never asked me anything. I thought maybe doing that would give her a nudge in the right direction. It was a test to see if she had any genuine interest in meeting me and I guess she didn't. Every day I see her on MSN but she never says hi and neither do I now.

I know it will never work with her and I am probably never going to send her another message unless she messages me first. At some point, I will just delete her from my MSN and move on but I still want to give her a chance to initiate something because she IS hot. But yeah, I decided to go through the online dating site and message a whole bunch of girls last night. I have not got back any responses yet but I expect to get SOMETHING soon sigh. I am going to get them on MSN like normal but unless they ask me questions I am just going to delete them. I am very good at being in denial and kidding myself thinking that the girl is going to all of a sudden develop the kind of personality I like. I do not want a low key jaded girl. I want an optimistic bubbly grateful girl. I watched a video the other day and they said the human emotion that is the healthiest and makes you feel the most relaxed is gratitude. They say you should write down all the things you like about your life and then change the word to love and then sit in front of a mirror every night before you go to sleep and read the list while you look in the mirror and say it with enthusiasm and passion but I have not done this yet because it sounds kind of gay.

Gee guess what? I got a random email from that girl Pauline telling me that she doesn't think it is going to work out with me. She said something about me being to intense or moving too fast or something and basically yeah goodbye. I was like wtf! She was the one that was moving too fast - she was the one that wanted me to come up to her place and fuck her. And fuck her I did, and it was good and she even came a few times, this is why I don't understand women at all sigh. The good news is that I don't have all my eggs in one basket. I was prudent enough to make sure that I had multiple women on the go. The thing is, whenever I get shot down by a girl or I get bad news or it doesn't work out or whatever then I always treat the next few girls I meet in the same way. I am expecting them to fuck me over in some way so I am usually a bit of an asshole and I don't waste any time getting down to the nitty gritty to see if they will answer all my hard questions usually about sex and stuff. Some of them are turned off and I just angrily delete them it is kind of funny. I have been out on a few dates with some other girls but I am starting to get a bit distracted because I AM meeting girls that like me it's just that I can't seem to score with the girls I am REALLY attracted to.

Here I will give you a typical example. I took this girl out on Saturday night that just passed. Some girl named Amanda that I met earlier in the week. Once I heard her name was Amanda I just kept thinking of the girl Amanda that is on Survivor: Heroes vs Villains right now. She is really hot and really thin. Anyways I had been chatting with her on MSN and she looked pretty good in her pics so I told her to meet me for coffee at this cool place here in Seattle called Bauhaus Books & Coffee. It is a pretty cool place and they sell books and shit there too. I told her to meet me there at 3pm and I arrived at ten to three because I wanted to be early for some reason. I wanted to check out the coffee place and find a good seat and then sit with my coffee and think about what I was going to say and try and get my game face on and get psyched up but that is not what happened because when I got there, she was already there sitting at a table sipping a coffee. I walked over to her trying not to smile like a beaming retard because she was VERY attractive. I mean she looked like 10x better than her photos I saw on the dating website and in email etc.

I was kind of in shock as to how good she looked and I can definitely remember not having anything intelligent to say when I first sat down. I was like blah blah blah and she was like well go get yourself a coffee silly and I was like yeah right so I got up and went and stood in line. I looked around the coffee shop and I could see all the guys in the place totally checking her out and I felt like such a stud muffin. My ego was so inflated I was like w0000000t. So I go back and sit down and start talking to her. We talked about a lot of random stuff and it seemed like she was having a good time and she was smiling and laughing at my jokes etc. She told me that she had been in a long term relationship that lasted 10 years and she was really wary of new men that she had been meeting. I asked her if she had met a lot of guys through the online dating website and she said she had been out on half a dozen dates so far since she had joined last month. I was like damn wow that is a lot but then again she said she gets about 20 messages per day. Granted only 2-3 of them are not crazy weird perverts. So after a couple of hours, I was starting to get hungry so I was like we should totally go and grab some dinner and she was like um ya I can't I have to get up early tomorrow and I was like noooo... I have to get up early tomorrow means she doesn't like you. So we left and it was uneventful and I haven't heard anything from her so I have no idea what really happened.

Hi everyone, I have a bird in the hand and her name is Pauline. She is eastern european mix of hungarian and ukranian and something else, oh yeah polish. She is reasonably attractive but she has a really nice body. She is super thin and has some decent curves. Her eyebrows cut use some work as they are kind of thin. Thin eyebrows for some reason, for me, seem to make a girl look trashy or slutty. At any rate, she is a nice girl and she is 26 years old and she works for some IT company. I really don't know what she does. I think she does quality and assurance or Q&A or whatever those nerds call that stuff. She seems to be kind of quiet and shy but I told her I wanted to take her out for dinner so she agreed and we went out for dinner to this cool place last Friday night. I was really nervous but I hooked it up and I told her we should meet there by taxi so we could both drink and be relaxed and she was down with it.

I took her to this place called 94 Stewart Restaurant which is a pretty unique place and the service was really good too. I will definitely go back there soon. She had the Breast of Duck and I had the Seared Sea Scallops which came with cilantro butter and rice. It was really good and to be honest I am not a fan of cilantro. We both drank quite a bit during dinner and I am glad that I decided to meet her there so I didn't have to drive cuz I was too buzzed. We got into a taxi and things were kind of quiet because we never really discussed where we were going to go or if the taxi was just going to drop each of us off at our respectable homes etc. When we got into the taxi we both turned to each other at the same time and asked the other person something about a nightcap and we both laughed. Let's go to my place she laughed and she grabbed my hand and was holding on to it.

I knew right then and there that I was going to get laid that night and that is exactly what happened. She is a really cool girl and I am going out with her again this weekend. I AM still messaging other girls though because women are flaky and who knows if this is going to materialize into anything. Women are hella flakey like that. One day you can be having sex with them and everything seems fine and the next day they need some "time" or "space" to sort things out and you are like wtf. The thing is, you never know if they are bullshitting you. Sometimes when a woman meets another guy, they will make up some bullshit excuse as to why they don't want to see you anymore. Women suck is the bottom line but the reality is that life without women sucks even more. Sigh, anyways that is what is happening and I will continue to update his blog very soon with more info.

Well it has been over a month since my last post so let me bring you guys up to speed on what has happened. Basically my flu ended up being swine flu and it never went away. I have been laid up in bed for the last 30+ days and I only feel like I am getting better now for the last couple of days. Karen ended up meeting someone else so she is no longer in the picture. I actually pulled down my profile from the online dating site because I was so sick and I felt like it was pointless to keep it up because I wouldn't be able to actually go out on any dates with a girl that sent me a message so why bother. Work has been pretty cool about the whole thing so far - they just want me to stay home and get better because the last thing Microsoft needs is a swine flu breakout at their head offices heh.

So today I decided I am going to put my profile back up and I am going to tweak it this time around so I can attract the right kind of girl. I am no longer sure if I want a female version of myself. At first I thought I should definitely be going after someone who is a working professional and on the same level as me but now I am thinking I could use a break from the whole corporate work thing and maybe I should find a girl that is more simple and less ambitious. Maybe a girl who works in a coffee shop is the kind of girl that would make me happy. I really don't know but what I do know is that I think I have been working too hard and hanging out with professional working girls is not going to slow my life down which is what I think I need.

So after I am done this blog entry I am going to go in and redo my profile and then later tonight I am going to browse through the online dating site and send out some initial messages to some girls that I am interested in. I know there have been hundreds of new girls register on the site since I last browsed it so that is a good thin in my books. I am going to definitely target some young simple looking girls and take them out and see how I feel hanging out with girls of that nature. I think that it would be good for me to be with a girl that isn't going to want to talk about business and world politics and also be checking and messing with her BlackBerry every 5 minutes. I will update this blog again soon once I do this and get some messages back from some girls.

Let me bring you all up to speed on what has been happening. I haven't posted in my blog since Thursday because I got the flu and I have been in the bed and in the washroom. I am finally now feeling better and tomorrow I will be heading back to work. I have been chatting with Karen this whole time on msn while I have been sick and things have been cool. We are getting to know each other better and I am really starting to like her. I think she feels the same way about me but a couple of times she said something in msn chat and then said oops wrong window and it seemed like maybe she was chatting with another guy or maybe I am just being paranoid.

I mean I know that she is an attractive girl and I'm sure I am not the only one that has met on the online dating site and god knows how many different guy she could potentially be talking to or even going on dates with! I really have no idea and to be honest I shouldn't be so judging because I am still talking to other girls online through the dating site and I am still exploring all my options. Sometimes I just get really jealous and insecure and it pisses me off because when I think about things logically and objectively I am fine with everything. When my friends talk to me and give me advice I am like yes I know, that is what I am trying to tell myself but sometimes knowing how to act and acting upon it are two entirely different things.

I haven't been doing much of anything except sleeping, drinking soup, and watching TV shows on my laptop. I have also been downloading some movies. I haven't spent any time on the dating site messaging new girls because I have not been in the mood to talk to anyone new or use much brain power but now that I am feeling better I am definitely going to be going through the site again tonight and messaging a bunch of new girls. Karen wants me to take her out this weekend and I will definitely be doing that.

Last night I took Karen out for dinner. I was so happy when she finally agreed to meet me for dinner. I know how busy she is and we have been talking so much online everyday that I felt like I already knew so much about her. The thing is about chatting online with someone is that you can learn a lot of facts and you can share a lot of data but this type of communication is very cerebral and there isn't much emotion involved. The moment I knew we were going to meet, my heart started to palpitate and I started to feel very nervous and started to get cramps in my stomach. I was not sure what I was so nervous about, I mean I knew that she had already seen my pictures and obviously liked what she saw otherwise she would not be chatting with me all this time, let alone wanting to get together and meet me in person.

She told me to meet her at this restaurant called Wild Ginger Asian Restaurant. She told me it was her favorite Asian restaurant in Seattle so I was like ok cool and I arrived there at 6:45pm. She was already there and seated. The hostess pointed over the table where she was seated and I had a few seconds to observe her without her seeing me. She looked so good, so sexy, so refined in the dress she was wearing. She was clacking away on her BlackBerry and when I approached the table she looked up and was like oh hi! She had a big smile on her face and I was like wow I really like this woman she is so cool. She stood up and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and I was wondering if this is how she greets every man or if she did this because she was attracted to me. Sometimes I can read too much into things and it messes me up because I can get fixated on it. I guess I can be borderline OCD.

We sat and chatted about lots of stuff most of the conversation was about work and I was like this doesn't feel like much of a date because of the topic of conversation and I knew that I had to shift things to be more personal and intimate. I told her that she looks even better in person than she does in her pictures online and she blushed and said that I looked better than my photos too. Then right after us each saying that, we shared an awkward moment where we were both just blushing and giggling. It was cute. After that we started talking about our past relationships and that conversation lasted about an hour. I looked at my watch it was 9:30pm. I couldn't believe we had been sitting there for so long chatting and we had barely had anything to drink. We got the bill and then she said we should take a taxi over to this place called The Triple Door Lounge right here in Seattle. The place was so chill and awesome. They have a 1900 gallon freshwater aquarium and have all kinds of fish and shit in them. We sat on a sofa and drank some drinks. I don't really remember the exact moment when it happened but some other couple came over and shared the couch with us so she had to move really close to me. So close that I could smell her perfume so strongly, so I just put my nose into her neck and whispered in her ear that she smelled so good. She just said mmmm and then I pulled away and kissed her. I really wanted to either go back to her place or have her come to my place but she said in the parking lot as we were both approaching the taxis that she really liked me and didn't want to move to fast so she thought we should call it a night. I left wondering if she was being sincere or if she just didn't like me as much as I like her.

Hi everyone and welcome back to my awesome blog. Work has been very busy lately but I will try and find time to post in my blog on a more regular basis. I have got a lot of messages flying back and forth online through the dating site that I am a member of. There are a bunch of girls that think that I am attractive and interesting so I feel pretty good about myself.

I have managed to get 4 different girls to talk to me on MSN. Sometimes I am chatting with all 4 of them at once and I have to be careful to not mess up and accidentally type something in the wrong chat window. I do not want each one to know that I am talking on instant messenger with so many girls at once. I do not know what these girls expect though, I mean you can't put all your eggs in one basket cuz then if that basket breaks, you lose all your eggs. So all I am doing in diversifying my portfolio so to speak. I am hedging my bets but they wouldn't be able to understand that logic but that is ok because I am being careful and at the end of the day I don't see this as doing anything wrong.

Let me tell you about thee girls then. So far I have not setup a date with any of them but I can tell I am getting close with a couple of them.

The first girl is named Karen and she is 32 and she works in marketing for a large computer hardware manufacturer. She has brown long hair and she looks like your typical hard working driven business woman. I am not sure if she is going to turn out to be my type in the long run but for now it seems worth exploring to me. She works a lot of hours like I do and i basically married to her laptop like I am so she is always online which is kind of cool because it has allowed us to do lots of chatting online and getting to know each other. I am talking to her online on basically a daily basis and we are taking things slow. She said her last relationship lasted 6 years and that she broke up with her last bf 6 months ago and has barely dated anyone since then. She said she has been very cautious since they broke up not to just hook up with any old guy again as she put it and that she wants to make sure she selects a good candidate for a long term relationship this time around so I can respect that.

The second girl is named Rachel and she is only 26 years old. Yes I know she is kind of young for me but this girl is super brilliant and she is very mature. She said she is gifted and that she graduated from university when she was only 19 years old because she skipped many grades in high school etc. She is slightly dorky and eccentric but she is very good looking and she has a great sense of humor. I think she is really cute and I really want to get to know her better. She said she had a few short term relationships in the last few years but nothing serious. She spends a lot of time working on her academics. She is basically a full time student still wrapping up a few PHD's or something and that she expects to become a professor very very soon.

The third girl is named Heather and she is a waitress in a dance club. She is 29 years old and she is pretty much opposite of these other girls and pretty much opposite of my personality but that is part of what attracts me to this girl. She is wild, loud, sexy and just very full of life and seems quite uninhibited. All of the pictures she has in her profile are of her out with her friends laughing, smiling, having a great time. The only reason I am talking to a girl that is so opposite of me is because whenever I talk to her I feel really good. It is like she fills me with positivity just by having a conversation with her, it's very cool and something totally new for me as I am not used to hanging around people that aren't jaded and sarcastic most of the time.

The last girl is named Marie and she is very shy and quiet. She is 31 and she is a librarian. Yes I know it is hella cliched to be dating a librarian. Is she a hot librarian, well yes she is which is pretty much the main reason why I am actually attracted to this girl. I know I am not some fun loving wild, crazy kind of guy but at the same time I am not a stick in the mud and normally I would avoid a girl that is so conservative but I have this crazy idea in my head that she will be really wild in bed and I want to test that theory.

I guess that is it for now. I am going to continue to chat with these 4 girls and then I am going to try and take them all out on a date so I can really see how different or perhaps similar they are and also see if I am truly compatible with them or not because you really can't tell until you meet someone in real life and you can properly assess the chemistry you may or may not have.

Well I got a total of 13 girls who have replied to the messages that I sent them. I think that I only really like about 6 of them. The others just weren't attractive enough or they were too young. I don't want a girl that is young and doesn't know what she wants with her life. It is amazing how you can think you know where a girl is at, how you can assume you know what they are thinking and how they are going to act and then you find out differently and it is like being thrown a curve ball. This has happened to me many times. I get caught up in my emotions and I stop thinking logical and I start thinking that I know what the other person is thinking when in reality I can be totally off and then when I found out what the truth is, it hurts and it is confusing. I know I am going off on a rant here but it will make more sense once I tell you the story about this girl I met online named Shelly.

She was one of the first 3 girls to message me and she seemed really cool. She works in IT also as a project manager for a small software company. I was thinking well this is good we have a lot in common and we can communicate effectively. I chatted a lot with her on msn and we both liked the way each other looked and we were both physically attracted to one another. After 2 days or so of lots of chatting we decided to meet and have coffee. This date if you want to call it that went very well and we got a chance to really talk to each other and tell each other our stories and talk about our ex partners etc. At the end of that date we kissed and we both left very happy.

We continued to talk online on msn and stuff and also on skype and then we got together again at my place. She came over and I cooked her dinner and we chilled and watched a movie and fooled around and everything was great. The more I began to learn about this girl, the more I liked her and vice versa. We both had permasmiles all the time and everything was honky dory. Then I went over and spent the night at her place and she cooked for me and we had sex etc which was great and I really had no complaints. I was feeling like wow I could be falling in love with this person and I was hoping that she was feeling the same way.

Then I found out like 2 days ago that she is not ready for a relationship and was worried that I was being too pushy and that I really wanted a relationship. She said she was hesitant to get into a relationship with another man with only knowing him for such a short period of time. She said she had made a lot of mistakes in her life and didn't want to make another one. At first I was hurt but then I realized she was right and that I was in idiot for moving so fast and getting caught up in my emotions. This is what I am getting at, when it comes to women, love, relationships, etc it is so easy to get wrapped up in your emotions and stop making logical decisions. She has now become distant and doesn't message me much anymore and I think that she thinks that I am so dependent needy emotional wreck and I don't think she wants to have anything to do with me.

Clearly I messed up. I had a clear cut plan of how I was going to live my life once my ex dumped me. I didn't listen to my inner voice at all and I just got wrapped up in the moment and now I am mad at myself for not being prudent and getting so god damn emotional. I have some friends that are very logical stable people and I guess I could learn a thing or two from them. Sometimes I just can't help giving in to my emotions but I thought I had moved past this, I thought that I had learned from my mistakes and I was going to be able to be stronger and wiser but I guess not. So I am going to take this as a reality check wakeup call and get my shit together and not get so emotionally attached to the women that I date.

So that brings us up to present. The good news is that I have lots of messages from girls that are hot and look like they have their shit together. Right now I am just exchanging messages back and forth through the dating site's interface and I have not yet managed to get any of them on msn so we can talk more but I am very optimistic.

Happy New Year everyone!

Well today is Sunday and tomorrow I have to go back to work which sucks. Yeah I know I have a good job and I am well paid and everything but I was really enjoying the time off. It gave me a chance to finish my online profile for the dating site that I joined. I know have 6 good pictures of me. When I say good, I mean the picture quality is as good as I can get for how I look. I wrote a lot of cool stuff in my profile and I mentioned what I did for a living but I didn't specifically say it was Microsoft. I didn't do much on New Years Eve in case you are wondering. I went to a friend's place and he had a few people over and we played Rockband 2 most of the night to be honest. He really likes old classic rock like Eric Burdon and the Animals etc.

So I finished my online profile and then I reached out and sent messages to a whole bunch of different women. I lost count of how many people I messaged. I think it must have been around 20 or so. I think what happens now is they look at my profile and look at my pictures and see if they are attracted to me physically and then they read all my stuff in detail to figure out what kind of guy I am. I sent most of the messages last night and so far I have got back 3 messages so I am happy to see some kind of progress already.

I watched UFC last night and it was pretty good - Rashad Evans won the Decision over Silva. The card was not bad but nothing special either.

Once I get some more replies from girls I will let you guys know.

Allo everyone! You have arrived at my new blog, well this is the first blog I have ever made for anything but yeah you have arrived at my blog so yay!

I live in downtown Seattle and my name is Adam and I am single. I wasn't always single of course. I did have a girlfriend that I was with for 4 years before she dumped me last month. Real frickin nice to dump me right before Xmas yo.

What can I tell you about myself. I work for Microsoft and have been there for 6 years now. I am 35 years old and I met my last girlfriend at work. That was a bad idea. I am a bit of a geek and I spend a lot of time at work so I don't usually go out too much and don't have a lot of opportunities to meet women. This is why I decided to join an online dating site and give that a go. I have some colleagues who rave about meeting women online. They say it is so much easier, cheaper, and way less of a headache that prowling clubs drunk looking for women.

I have been a member for a week now. I am a bit slow at getting started. I am working on my profile and I am having a hard time deciding what to write. I have been reading some other peoples profiles to get an idea of what is common and what sounds good when I read it. I don't really have any decent photos of myself either. I want to shoot some but it's kind of hard to do it on your own, although I guess I can use the timer function on my digital camera.

I guess tomorrow I will take some good photos and update my profile. I will then reach out and message all the girls I have flagged as interesting. I hope you stick with me and have fun as I meet lots of women.... I hope.